


Situation at Vidcon

by LittleLola1114



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Acceptance, Aftercare, Bathing/Washing, Biting, Broken Up, Carrying, Choking, Crying, Drinking, Drugged Sex, Drugs, Emotional Baggage, Flirting, Freak out, Freedom, Help, Kissing, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Moving On, Moving Out, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Original Male Character - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Party, Police, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reunions, Running into each other, Therapy, VidCon 2017 YouTube Convention, forced to work together, ignoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-25 23:41:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18712057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleLola1114/pseuds/LittleLola1114
Summary: After fighting for months, Dan wakes up to find Phil gone. Months have past and Dan and Phil are forced to see each other at Vidcon in America, and after being forced to attend a party, Dan is surprised to meet someone new and exciting; but not everything is what it seems. After being drugged, the mysterious man forces his way into Dan's room and takes advantage of him. Can Phil put their differences aside long enough to help Dan? In the end, after experiencing this together, they realized in order to be happy, all they needed was each other.





	1. Chapter 1

When I first got the email, I was unsure if whether or not I was actually going to go or not. I mean it was Vidcon and every Youtube influencer goes, but this would be the first Vidcon without Phil by my side. I haven’t seen him in almost four months since we decided we should take a break; he’s been staying at his brother’s house since then. 

It was a stupid break up really, we kept fighting and fighting, and when we weren’t fighting, he never talked to me or paid any attention to me so then one day I asked him for space so I can work some things out myself, and he didn’t really fight me on it, maybe on some level, he also knew it wasn’t working out. One morning I woke up and he was gone, he just left without saying a proper goodbye. I hated him for that.

I didn’t tell our viewers and I notice on Phil’s channel, he didn’t tell either; in fact, he hasn’t posted a single video since we broke up, he actually hasn’t posted anything on social media at all, which was a bit strange. 

My attention was brought back to reality when I heard my phone ring in the other room. When I picked it up I realized it was our manager Debra; she was a sweetheart and she knew about Phil and me.

“Hello Debra,” I said politely

“Hello sweetie, I’m just calling in regards to Vidcon in America this year, I just need a confirmation that you will be attending so I can negotiate meet and greet times with the organizers of the event,” she said in a rush tone.

“Umm yeah, I think I am going...I mean it will be weird doing this without Phil next to me, but I’ll be fine,” I said a bit hesitant. 

“Oh no no no sweety. The meet and greet will have to be with you and Phil, Vidcon wants the duo, “Dan and Phil”, I’m afraid they won’t make a time slot for just half of the team,” Debra said in a more apologetic tone. “I’m sorry honey.”

I let out a heavy sigh, “What did Phil say?”

“Well, I just got off the phone with him and boy was that a conversation, but he said he would be willing to do it,” she quickly stated. 

“He said he’s willing uh,” I said rolling my eyes.

“Now now, let's not be like that, can you guys remain civil enough to stay in the same room for 2 hours and do a meet and greet or not?” she asked in a more serious tone,

“Yes Debra, if he can then I can.” I finally said.  
“Perfect sweety, see you in a few days in America,” she said right before hanging up.

I threw my phone on the couch I was sitting on and looked around the room. I stared at all of Phil’s things still left at the flat, He never came back for them. I thought to myself. Maybe he left them here because he knows he’ll come back; come back to pack his things up or maybe come back to me? Well, let's see what happens. I last thought before getting up and heading towards my room to start packing for Vidcon.


	2. Chapter 2

Arriving at the airport and the actual plane ride was a whole blur to me, I felt anxious the whole time, hours away from seeing Phil for the first time in four months.

A car was sent for me at the airport that promptly took me to the hotel that I would be staying at for the next few days. After I waited in line to check in and got the keys to my room, I met up with Debra for a quick lunch.

“Sweety honey, eat your food before it gets cold, “ Debra stated in a mom tone. 

“I am-I’m…” I let out a heavy sigh. “I guess I’m just a bit nervous...seeing Phil again and all.”

“Oh, honey… I’m sure it will go smoothly-and if it does you might want this,” she said while pulling out a card.

“A keycard? What for?” I asked

“Well just in case things figure themselves out today I’m giving you an extra keycard to Phil’s room,” she said sweetly. 

I started blushing, I couldn’t believe what Debra was saying, “Debra that’s not going to happen...Phil and I are broken up and it’s going to remain like that.” I lastly stated.

“Well a girl can only hope,” she said as she grabbed my arm and placed the keycard in my hand and stood up to leave. “Don’t stop faith Dan, let it happen.” she lastly said before walking away.


	3. Chapter 3

I went to my hotel room and took a quick shower. I wanted to relax a bit before heading over the convention center for our meet and greet, and before seeing Phil. 

I made my way over the convention center and found my way to the location of the meet and greet and waited backstage. I was fidgeting around with my fingers feeling anxious. A few minutes passed by before my attention was drawn to my left where I saw the curtain get drawn to the side and I saw Phil walk in. 

I quickly turned away before he noticed that I was staring at him. If Phil wanted to talk to me then he could, the ball was in his court. I waited for a few seconds to see if Phil would approach me, but the only thing that happened was that I felt someone passed right by me. When I noticed the person in front of me I realized that it was Phil. 

He just went right past me. I thought to myself. He didn’t even say hello. Well...maybe he didn’t know it was me-no that can’t be right, we’ve known each other for seven years. Phil knew it was me and he just ignored me! If he’s going to be like that then so be it.

During the whole meet and greet, I didn’t even look at Phil. I couldn’t believe he would do this, I thought we were going to be civil about this whole thing. Guess I was wrong. 

I said my hello’s to the fans and took the pictures they wanted, and all while smiling like nothing was going on. I could tell the fans knew something was going on but I couldn’t really deal with that right now. Everything was really just a blur, and once it was over I quickly left; saying goodbye to Debra before heading to my room, wanting to forget this whole day.

 

I was laying on my bed not really doing anything for a few hours when my phone started ringing. Noticing that it was my friend Louis, I promptly answered it with a smile.

“Hello Louis,” I said, quickly noticing the loud music in the background.

“Dan, where are you, the party already started,” she stated in a loud tone, obviously because of the music.

“Party?” I questioned.

“It’s the first night of Vidcon, of course, I’m talking about the party they’re doing for the Influencers. I already ran into Phil and when I asked him where you were at, he looked confused and said he didn’t know. Is everything okay?” she asked.

“Um… yeah everything’s fine, I was just tak-taking a shower, I’ll be down there in a bit.” I stammered out. 

“Great! I’ll see you in a bit love”, she lastly said before she hung up.

Well so much for a quiet night in, I thought to myself as I stood up and walked over to my suitcase to look for a nice shirt.


	4. Chapter 4

I met up with Louis at the party. She handed me a drink and we starting talking and catching up on what we’ve been up too since the last time we saw each other. Every time she mentioned Phil and our relationship I stirred the topic to something else. After a while, she kind of took the hint and backed off. We were together for almost two hours filling the air with laughter before she stated that she had an early day tomorrow and should turn in. She kissed my cheek and said our goodbyes. I was then left alone.

The party kept going so I decided to make my way over to the bar to get myself another drink. I was sipping my drink looking around to see who was still here. I was getting ready to leave when I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around.

“Hiya, I don’t think we’ve met before,” he said with a big smile.

“Umm-hi, I don’t think we have,” I said back, noticing his height and how he was taller than me, not to mention how muscular he looked.

“I’m Derek, I’ve seen you around but I never introduced myself; however for some reason, I got the courage to speak to you tonight, but I am nervous, but it’s the good kind really and I’m babbling I know that but I swear I’ll stop in 3, 2,1, annnnnd done, wow I just totally embarrassed myself, I’ll just leave” he said while letting out a slight laugh and starting to turn around.

I couldn’t stop smiling, “No don’t go,” I reached out to grab his arm, “You did just fine, I’m Dan.”

“I can’t believe you still want to talk, I’m a total nerd for rambling like that,” he blushed while scratching his head.

“Now if we’re talking about being nerds, then let me tell you about my life,” I said letting out another laugh.

It’s been a good while since I’ve laughed like this. I needed this, I really did. I thought. And we stayed talking for about another hour or so getting to know each other. We had a lot of the same interests and hobbies, and I found out that he actually isn’t a Youtuber but that his friend invited him to the party, which makes sense since I’ve never seen him before, and what a shame that has been.

“Listen, Derek, this has been really fun and all and I really don’t want it to end, but I have a meet and greet tomorrow and I kind of need to somewhat sleep if I’m going to survive tomorrow.” 

“Ha, no I totally get it, the busy life of the famous Dan Howell, but if it’s not too much to ask, can I have your phone number?”

At first, I was thrown off by the question, but I knew the answer, “Yeah, of course, you can, hand me your phone… ok annnnd there we go, you now have a “Dan Howell” in your contact, use it wisely,” I smiled handing the phone back to him.

“Oh, I attend too,” he said with a wink.  
And on that note, I made my way over to the door to make my exit, but as I place my hand on the door handle, my hand touched someone else’s and when I looked up to see who it was, my eyes met piercing blue ones, it was Phil.


	5. Chapter 5

*  
My hand bumped into someone else's, “Oh I’m sorr-oh Phil,” I added once realizing who it was.

“O-um sorry, you were obviously reaching for it, I don’t know why I reached out too, you go, I’ll leave after you,” he looked down at his hand as if he was burned when he touched me.

“You’re leaving?” I asked, suddenly feeling sad that he was leaving and completely forgetting that I was mad at him.

“Uh yeah, you know me, parties aren’t really my thing,” he rubbed the back of his head with his hand.

“Yeah, I seem to remember countless times in which we spent the whole time at parties near the snack table and then quickly running to the corner to stuff our faces, desperately hoping that no one will come up to us to make small talk,” I recalled, with a smile.

Phil let out a laugh then added, “Ugh, don’t remind me how unsociable we are, I’ll just get sad,”

“I mean nothing’s change, I didn’t even know about this party, let alone wanted to come but you know how persuasive Louis can be,” I said letting out a heavy sigh but still laughing.

“And I’ll second that...Um, listen, Dan, I…” Phil started but was interrupted.

“Dan!” I turned to see Derek speed walking up to me. “I’m so glad I caught you before you left, I-uh I brought you your drink, you didn’t finish it. I thought you might want to finish it before you left,” he said.

“Oh, thank you, Derek...Oh-um Derek this is Phil,” I said drinking the drink and turning towards Phil.

“Hello Philly,” Derek said.

“It’s just Phil,” he replied.

“Well “just Phil” lighten up will you,” Derek stated. 

“Whatever,” Phil said.

“Phil, don’t be like that,” I asked softly.

“It’s getting late Dan, I’m gonna get going, I’ll see you tomorrow I guess,” he said reaching for the door and heading out.

“Phil wait,” I called after him, but as I took a step forward I felt dizzy all of a sudden and raised a hand to my head, I then felt arms around me in an instant. 

“Whoa there, you okay there Dan,” Derek asked concernedly.

“Yeah, I-um I think it wa-was the last drink,” I held on to him, scrunching my eyes, but still letting out a slight laugh, ”It might have actually gotten me drunk.”

“Let me walk you to your room, Dan,” Derek offered.

“Thank you,” and we made our way out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Derek helped me walk to the elevator by letting me have an arm around his shoulder as he held onto my waist. As we waited for the door to open, I felt his fingers rub small circles along my hip bone. It made me a bit uncomfortable so I tried to move away but Derek held on tighter. 

“Careful now, you don’t want to fall,” he said.

“You’re right” I replied feeling dizzier by the second.

Once we were in the elevator, I was about to tell him what floor I was on, but he already clicked the correct button. How did he know? I thought to myself.

“Derek, how did you-” I was interpreted.

“I saw you, you know. Earlier in the night, the way you were talking to that blonde woman,” he spat out.

I was confused, “What?”

“You were with her for a while and then she kissed you,” he said as if it amused him. “Oh, Dan you really are so desperate for someone to love you.”

“Excuse me?” I said pushing away from him and staring at him.

“And don’t even get me started with the way you acted when Phil was around. You acted like a fool just to please him and why because you miss him and you feel lonely.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I continue to stare while holding onto the side of the elevator.

“So desperate really, to the point that you’ll probably let anyone who shows you some form of affection fuck you, and hey-it’s working in my favor, so that’s good,” he said stepping closer.

“Fuck you, Derek, you can forget about using my number,” the elevator doors opened, “I don’t want to see you again.” the elevator opened and I stumbled out

My room was a few doors down and I got there with slight problems but nothing too major. I struggled a bit with my key card but after a few seconds I figured it out. Once the light turned green, I was pushed inside.

I turned around to see Derek right behind me. “What the fuck! Derek get the fuck out!”

“Aww, is little Dan upset,” he said belittling me.

“Derek I’m fucking serious, get the fuck mmphh” I was cut short as he pushed me against the wall and kissed me. My head was pounding, both from hitting my head hard against the wall, and from the alcohol I had today, but that still didn’t explain why I felt so weak.

I moved my head but he quickly grabbed my chin, “Oh Dan didn't anyone teach you not to accept drinks from strangers,” he whispered in my ear.

“What? did you dr-drug m-me?” I asked in both disbelief and realization.

“You were so stuck in your own head and everybody knew you followed Phil like a lost puppy so this was the only way I could get to you” Derek explained. 

“Oh-oh my god, you fucking creep, what do you want,” I simply asked emotionally tired.

“Isn't it obvious yet, sweetie I want you,” he lastly said before he grabbed onto my shoulder and closed the distance between us once again and kissing me. 

Once I felt his lips touch mine again, I pulled away of course, but then Derek grabbed my chin and pushed his fingers into my cheeks which forced my mouth open. Before I knew it, his tongue was in my mouth. He did this for a few seconds and before he let go he bit my lip hard; enough that it drew blood. At this point, I couldn't even feel my legs, they felt so numbed. 

“St-stop, get off,” I gasped out but it didn't work. He slowly moved down to my neck. “I'm serious Derek stop!” I said now pushing with the weak force I had left. I had my hands on his chest pushing when he grabbed them and gripped them over my head, and started biting my neck, obviously leaving nasty bruises all over my neck. “ Ow...Derek stop your hurting me.” I said feeling the tears start to form.


	7. Chapter 7

He must work out or something cause I was amazed at how he was holding me down with just one arm; well I mean the drugs were helping in his favor. With his other free hand, I felt his fingers slowly make their way down my stomach. Once he got low enough, he started rubbing in small circles. “Derek-please… I don't want this,” I pleaded in a soft whisper, letting the first tear fall. 

He was starting to unbutton and lower my pants when I realized that I could scream out and perhaps someone could hear me, then he would have to stop. 

The moment he put his hand inside my underwear, I let out a scream, “Help!... Someone help me, he's trying to ra-” I was cut off by the sound of my own throat being choked as he placed a hard grip around my neck. More tears started to fall. 

My eyes were wide and my mouth left open trying desperately to receive some air.   
“Sto...ple…” I tried to say but failed. 

This was the first time I've ever been choked. I mean sure Phil and I had our share experiences delving into our kinky sides but he has never choked me. I was always scared and he never pushed or pressured me to do anything that I didn't want to. He always made sure I was comfortable with anything that we did. He made me feel safe.

Derek was pushing too hard and I couldn't breathe, the lack of oxygen started to burn my lungs. With the added effects of the drugs, my vision started to waver. “Ple…” I tried one more time, and it worked cause this time he actually let go. 

I took in a big breath of air before getting into a coughing fit. I could almost feel the color returning to my face. I was about to say something when all of a sudden he grabs my shoulders and threw into the floor. 

Being caught off guard, I wasn't prepared to catch myself, so I ended up hitting my head against the hardwood floor. Fuck. And before I knew it he turned me over and grabbed my arms. He must have found a tie or something in my luggage because a few seconds later, my hands were tied together. After he did that, he then turned me over and started kissing me again.


	8. Chapter 8

I felt so dizzy and I couldn’t see straight. Small black dots clouded my vision and I felt so numb that I couldn’t move my body. I could barely even register that he was kissing me. I felt him continue to unbutton my pants and before I knew it, I was naked from the waist down. I looked towards Derek and I could vaguely see that his own pants were lowered and his penis was out.

I felt a bit embarrassed so I tried to cover myself but Derek grabbed my knees and pushed them apart.

“Just look at you, all spread out for me, so willing to let me fill you up,” he said.

“Derek…” I looked into his eyes as best as I could. “Please stop.” And of course, he ignored me and instead started placing kisses on my inner thighs.

“A slut like you probably doesn’t even need stretching right and just for the fun of it, I won’t use any lube,” he said coldly.

He started pushing himself in and it fucking hurt like hell. In the four months that I was single, I didn’t have sex with anyone, and even in the last few months that Phil and I were together we weren’t really being intimate, due to all the fighting but even in all that fighting, he never treated me like this, he always made sure I was prepared and felt comfortable.

“It hurts...Derek,” I mumbled out in pain. I felt like I lost my voice and my throat felt all tight from the choking. “Stop,” I said as tears continued to freely fall. “I-I don’t want this.”

This is happening, this is really happening, I thought to myself. Somebody, please help me. I don’t want this.

He kept thrusting in hard; clearly having no mercy for my well-being. At this point, I accepted my faith and just closed my eyes to avoid trying to see his face, I didn’t want to remember this moment. He kept going hard until all of a sudden he stopped and I felt him pull out. 

Once I felt him pull out I closed my legs. I was confused as to why he stopped. Maybe he finally felt some compassion, maybe he finished? I thought to myself. My attention was then brought to the grunting and rustling that was happening in the corner, I opened my eyes to see what was happening and when I did, I saw Derek with a bloody face and Phil on top of him with his fist covered in blood.


	9. Chapter 9

I stared in awe as Phil kept punching Derek’s face and more and more blood fell out. Why is he here? He’s going to kill him. I tried to get my thoughts straighten out so I could focus on what was happening and make it stop before it went too far.

“St-stop,” I tried to gasps out and it worked since the next thing I knew, Phil was right by my side. I tried to focus on his face but it kept becoming blurry and I started getting fidgety. “Phil?”

“Hey-hey-hey, it’s okay, it-it’s okay, I-I’m here,” he said out of breath but in a calming manner. He then untied me and proceeded to carry me bridal style into to bathroom. He sat me on the white tile floor and then grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around my waist. “You’re safe here...I’ll be right back,” he said before leaving the restroom; closing the door behind him and going into the main room where Derek laid unconscious.  
I was so frightened with what just happened, I didn’t dare move from the corner Phil placed me in. I brought my legs in close to my body and assumed a fetal position before I knew it I started shaking and crying. I couldn’t calm down my breathing and I started to panic, I didn’t know how long I was sitting there holding myself before the door opened again.

I was so scared that it was Derek that I didn’t dare look up. When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I flinched away, “No!” I yelled out shrinking into myself, “Derek no!”

“Dan it’s me,” I heard Phil say. “Please try to calm down, breathe for me.” I still didn’t meet his eyes, everything was still so overwhelming. 

“Hey, look at me please,” he slowly reached out for my chin and turned my head up. I finally met his eyes but I still couldn’t calm down my breathing. “Danny breathe with me okay-in and out,” and I followed. “One more time okay, nice and slow; in and out.” With his finger, he then whipped away the last tear that started to fall. “You’re safe now.” 

I stared at him for a bit unsure, “O-okay,” I sighed out in relief. “Derek?” I asked worriedly.

“About 15 minutes ago I called the police and when they arrived they arrested him,” Phil stated, handing me a cup of water.

I simply just nodded, taking a few sips; noticing my shaking hands. 

“And, they also want to ask you some questions about what happens,” he asked slowly, almost as if he knew what my response would be.

I shook my head, “No, no, I can’t,” I started tearing up again.

“Dan, I know you’re scared, but I’ll be right here the whole time,” he said while cupping my cheeks.

I didn’t want to think or talk about it, but I knew if I didn’t answer the questions, Derek could walk free. “Okay,” I finally said.


	10. Chapter 10

A minute later, Phil walked back in with a cop. 

“Hello my name is Officer Scott, now your friend here already filled me in on what happen and by the look of it, it’s clear to me that what he said is true,” he said after taking in the image that was me on the floor with bruises covering my neck. “For formality reasons, I need to ask some key questions on your behalf before I can take away the man in the other room,” he said calmly.

I simply nodded.

“Okay, first question, how long have you’ve known Derek?”  
I hesitated for a bit, I looked towards Phil and he nodded reassuring me. “I-I um, I met him today, a um-a few hours ago at a party.”

He scribbled it down on his notepad and then continued, “And during this interaction, did you innate any conversation that would suggest wanting a physical and or intimate relationship?” he then asked.

I started thinking back, trying to recall our conversations “Maybe...I don’t know, we were just talking and having fun laughing, then h-he asked for my number.” I drew my knees in tighter subconsciously. 

“Okay, then what happened after,” Officer Scott asked.

“Um-well, it was getting late, an-and I was leaving, but then I ran into Phil so I stayed talking to him a bit,” I looked up to Phil for some reassurance before continuing. “Then Derek came out of nowhere to hand me my drink that I left behind-which by the way he drugged and then-”

“Wait what!” Phil interrupted, “he drugged you?-do you know for sure?”

“Well after you left Phil, I felt dizzy after finishing my drink so Derek offered to help me back to my room a-and then from there, everything about him just changed,” I said shaking my head slowly. “He starting saying all these mean things to me while we were in the elevator, so I told him to leave me alone but he forced his way into my room.”

“Oh Dan,” Phil just simply said.

“I was light headed and my legs felt numb and he pu-pushed me against the wall and started kissing me, and that’s when he told me he put som-something in my drink,” I said tearing up again. “Once I realized what was going to happen, I started yelling for help, b-but Derek started choking me,” I said wiping the tear away. 

“I know it’s hard, but please continue son,” Officer Scott asked calmly.

I was silent for a few seconds, unsure if I was going to continue or not, but then Phil came and sat down next to me and gently put a hand on my shoulder. 

“Then h-he started touching me...and he threw me on the floor and I hit my head on the tile,” I raised my hand to the back of my head. “He tied me up a-and started taking off m-my clothes, then he held my legs open and...pushed himself in,” I held onto Phil’s hand on my shoulder.

 

Officer Scott continued writing notes down, “Okay, I still need to ask for the record, was any of it at any time consensual?” he asked.

“N-no, none of it, h-he raped me.”

They both looked at me like I was broken and that’s to be expected since well because I am broken.

“And from what I understand from what he told me, you two aren’t American and are here under a working Visa for the convention,” the Officer asked.

“Yes,” I simply replied.

“That being said, under the law protecting foreigners in sensitive matters, you have the right to refuse to go to the hospital and having a rape kit performed on you, as well as ensuring the disclosure of your name and profession on record and in the media.”

I thought for a bit before answering, “I don’t want the rape kit and I don’t think I want my name on record.”

“That’s understandable, and that almost about does it. I’ll gather my things and take him with me, don’t worry, with what I saw here today, I’ll testify on your behalf and I’ll make sure Derek goes to jail for a long time,” Officer Scott said.

“Thank you,” and I really meant it.

“However, before I leave, there is the sensitive matter of photographic evidence,” he said cautiously. 

“I don’t understand?” I asked.

“Well we have the testimony of both you and Phil as well as what I can bring to the table, but in order to ensure Derek has no chance of walking away scot-free, photographic evidence will be the next best form of evidence on a trial, aside from actually having you on trial,” Officer Scott added.

 

“You want to take a photo of me?” I asked a bit shock.

“If that's alright with you, then yes, I believe it’s necessary,” the Officer said.

I looked up at Phil and wrapped my towel closer to my body; I didn’t even know I was doing it in the first place, but he seemed to get the message. “Umm-I’ll just be outside,” he said before walking out to give us some privacy. 

And once he left I looked up at Officer Scott who had the camera out and ready; he gave me a reassuring look before I lowered down the towel. A second later a flash covered the room as Officer Scott pressed the button, followed by five or six more flashes with different angles and close-ups. “You are a brave young man, and I wish you all the best in your future,” he gave me a nod and walked out of the room, a moment later Phil walked in and gave me a look that said What now? 

And I answered him with a verbal response, “Can you help me get cleaned up,” I simply asked looking him in the eyes, but I knew tears were falling again.


	11. Chapter 11

Once I heard the main door close, I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding in. As if on cue, tears started to fall again and I couldn’t help myself but wail out in agony over the whole situation. I felt Phil move in front of me and a second later he engulfed me in a big protective tight hug. 

“Sh-sh-sh, it’s okay Dan it’s all over now, he can’t hurt you anymore, I’m here to protect you. I know it’s hard, but you can overcome this.” he softly said in my ear. 

We stayed like that for a while before I gathered myself and lifted my head from Phil’s shoulder. I was going to say something to Phil but stopped when I tasted blood in my mouth. I recalled Derek biting and cutting my lip and all at once I felt disgusted with my body and wanted every part of me scrubbed clean. I knew I was covered in hickeys and bruises, my eyes were all red and puffy, I didn’t look like me at all. “Can you help me please...get cleaned up,” I asked.

“Are you sure?” he asked, “I can wait outside if it makes you more comfortable,” he moved a few inches away about to get up and leave, but I stopped him. “No don’t go,” I grabbed his hand.

“Okay-Okay I’ll stay,” he said, “Let’s get you cleaned up” Phil added. 

I felt Phil stand up slowly and walked over to the bathtub to turn on the water. We stayed silent for a bit as the water filled up. “I feel weird asking this… but do you need help getting in,” he asked cautiously.

“My legs still feel kind of numb, can you help me...please,” I asked quietly and a bit shamefully.

“Umm yeah okay,” he kneeled down and raised his hand to my arm but quickly took it back, “I don't know what you're comfortable with, I don't want to assume,” Phil asked.

“You didn't have to leave when Officer Scott took the photo, I'm sure you saw me when you carried me to the bathroom,” I looked at him, taking off my shirt; the only remaining piece of clothing I had on, “I trust you, Phil, I know that I'm safe with you,” I said before removing the towel wrapped around my waist.

I'm not going to lie, I felt a little self-conscious with letting go of the towel, but I knew we needed to deal with the elephant in the room. “I almost don't want to go in...I know it's going to burn,” I stated. 

“Burn?” Phil pondered for a bit. “ You mean he didn't-” 

“Stretch me? No, he didn't, he just pushed in without it and judging by the blood on my inner thighs, once I touch the water, it's going to sting,” I said letting out a heavy sigh.

“Oh Dan,” was the only thing he said before he lifted me up and slowly lowered me down into the water. Once my bum touched the warm water, my body did a very noticeable flinch and I squeezed down on Phil’s bicep, “Well I was right, one-fucking point for me I guess,” I grumbled out.

“I'm so sorry this happened to you, you don't deserve this; nobody does,” Phil said as he rubbed small circles on my back for comfort, as well as taking in the image of me gripping the side of the tub for pain relief. 

“It is what it is...no way to change what happened, I’m just glad you came when you did,” I said before realizing something,” H-how did you get in?” I asked turning a bit so I could face him.

“Well-I felt bad with how I left things earlier at the party so I was coming up here to apologize but when I got outside your room I heard you yelling for help. I tried to open the door but it was locked so I ran back to my room a few doors down and got the extra key Debra gave me to your room,” Phil explained. 

He grabbed a rag from underneath the sink and wet it with water and started cleaning my arms.

“The first thing I saw was your face and how it was covered in tear stains, then I saw that your hands were tied and I just lost it,” Phil continued. “ I pushed him off of you and started punching him until that stupid grin was off his face. I couldn't control myself, I was so angry at him and myself for letting this happen… I lost myself, I kept going and going and I swear, I could've killed him if I didn't hear your voice telling me to stop.”

I took my hand off from the side of the tub and placed it on Phil’s free hand when I felt him grimace I looked to see why. I took my hand off and when I looked at it, I saw blood, I then turned my head back to Phil’s hand and noticed how raw and red his hand looked. “Phil your hand,” I asked in a worried tone. 

“That's the least of my problem right now Dan, I'm helping you right now,” he said as he brought the rag to my neck and I flinched away. “Your neck is covered in bite marks and nasty hic-bruises, they're going to last at least a week if not more...sorry,” Phil explained. 

“Irony,” I mumbled out, “Of course this would happen to me, the first guy I meet in four months and he’s a complete psycho.”

“You haven’t dated anyone?” I blurted out without thinking. “I mean um... sorry that was rude of me to ask,” Phil asked.

“That’s okay… but no I-um couldn’t bring myself to,” I replied, “I mostly just sat around the flat doing nothing.” I stayed silent after that and I noticed Phil didn’t respond. 

It was quiet for a bit; the only sound heard was the water drops falling from the faucet.

“I didn’t date anyone either,” I heard Phil mumble out.

”Oh...really, you didn’t?” I asked surprised.

 

“I was sort of working on myself...I wanted to be a better person before I worked up enough courage to knock on your door and win you back, you know, before some other sensible person snatched you up,” Phil stated.


	12. Chapter 12

I turned around in the tub to stare at him, “You were gonna come back?” I asked in disbelief.

“I realized I was wrong about a lot of things that happened and I was wrong to treat you the way I did,” Phil sighed out. “When it got to the point where you actually told me you hated me, I-I couldn’t take it anymore and I left...but I knew it was wrong. I should’ve stayed so we could have really talked about our problems. I’m sorry for leaving...I’m sorry for everything. Is there anyway yo-you could even consider taking me back?” he asked.

“How could you and anyone for that matter want me, even after knowing that I’m weak enough to let this happen to me...I-I’m disgusting now,” I said looking away shamefully.

I felt Phil stop his motion, and reached over to grab my cheek. “No, don’t do that to yourself. You are a strong amazing person that I love no matter what okay; please tell me you understand that.”

Phil grabbed onto my other cheek and stared deeply into my eyes. He started slowly leaning in, but at the same time, he gave me a look; as if he was me telling me that I could back away if I didn’t feel comfortable.

I gave him a reassuring look and he slowly pressed his lips against mine. It was a soft kiss but it was filled with so much love and passion and I was reminded as to why I fell in love with him. A few seconds later he pulled away but still held me close.

“Yes,” I simply stated.

“What?” Phil asked confused.

“Yes, I’ll take you back, please...please come back home,” I said with soft eyes.

“Oh Dan,” he said while giving me a hug and placing a kiss on the side of my head.

We stayed like that for a bit before I finally asked Phil to help me out of the tub and into some warm pajamas. He helped me get into some sweats and while I was trying to put on my long sleeve shirt I noticed Phil was on his phone and from my view it almost looked like he was taking a picture of me. “Phil wha-what are you doing?” I asked trying to cover myself. 

All at once he almost seemed to know what he was doing, “No-no it’s not like that Dan I promise, I-I was just messaging Debra about needing to talk to her, I was planning on canceling the meet and greet for tomorrow, I didn’t think you would want to be so close to so many people and pretending that nothing happened.”

I looked at him for a bit, taking in everything that he just said, “Okay...and your right-thank you for taking care of that.” I simply said giving him a slight smile.

“Let's go to bed...okay then we can go home together,” Phil said walking towards me and lifting up the bedsheets.

I looked at the sheets and then back up at him. He saw me do this and then quickly added, “I can leave if you want, I don’t have to stay if your not comfortable me sleeping in the bed with you.”

“No, no please stay, I don’t want to be alone just yet. Ca-can you please hold me until I fall asleep?” I asked quietly 

“Yeah, of course,” Phil said as he made his over to the bed. 

“Thank you,” I said while laying down and feeling the weight of Phil on the bed behind me. I felt his arms reach around me and I immediately grabbed onto him.   
“I promise Dan, things are going to be different, I‘m not going to mess this up this time, we are going to fix things and we are going to be happy okay,” Phil whispered as he held onto me.

“I believe you, Phil, I want the best for us too,” I lastly said before sleep overtook me and I honestly did believe him that things will change for us for the better, we deserve to be happy after all that we've been through. I loved him and he loved me, that’s all that really matters in the end.


	13. Chapter 13

-Five months later-

I was on my way home from my last required therapy session when I paused and stared into a store. After Debra heard about what happened she paused any public appearance from both me and Phil until I went into mandatory therapy to deal with what happened. 

At first, I didn’t want to go because I felt fine and normal like it never happened, I mean I went to the hospital and everything to get checked out and when everything came back clean I felt relief, and I thought I could leave everything in the past. Phil and I were doing good, we worked out all of our problems and we never fought anymore we both wanted to move forward.

But after we had a little incident occurred about two months or so after coming back from Vidcon, I decided to go. It was when Phil and I were getting a bit handsy with each other on the bed, both knowing it was going to lead to something; anything we did before this point were just small kisses and cuddles. We were making out for a bit before he slowly started to lay me down on the bed. It was when he started kissing my neck when it first happened; my heart started racing but not in a good way. One second I was happy with Phil kissing my neck and in the next I suddenly saw Derek pushing me down. 

I closed my eyes and tried to calm down but then Phil started unbuttoning my pants and I just lost it. I push him away with so much forces and started screaming, “No!, Stop- Derek!” I could feel tears coming down and I knew I was shaking, but I didn’t care, I just wanted to get far away as possible. 

“Hey, hey, hey, Dan calm down, it’s me-Derek’s not here, he can’t hurt you anymore,” Phil said rushing up to me. “Breathe for me Dan please calm down.” 

I wrapped my arms around myself to try and stable myself but I couldn’t stop shaking. I was looking around until I let out an irritated laugh, “Dammit...fuck,” I said, finally calming down.

“It’s okay Dan, it was my fault for pushing you when you weren’t ready,” Phil said to me.

“No it’s my fault for thinking I was different, that I somehow didn’t count as a victim just because I thought I was okay,” I said angrily wiping away the tears on my face. 

“It’s not your fault Dan...nobody blames you for anything,” Phil expressed, slowly sitting on the bed. I didn’t want to meet his eyes, “What is it Dan?” he then asked.

“Ugh...I-I didn’t want to tell you this before but I’ve been havi-having nightmares about i-it,” I said looking away from him.

“” What?” he burst out. “Since when?” Phil asked.

“Umm...I don’t know may-maybe like a month now,” I answered.

“Dan,” Phil said letting out a heavy sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I-I don’t know… I guess I didn’t want to add another burden to your life, I mean you already have all of my messed up problems to deal with and you didn't ask for any of that.”

“I love you, Dan, I love everything about you, the problems don’t matter to me” Phil expressed.

“Of course you care, Phil, it’s sex…if we both didn’t date when we were separated then that means it's been almost more than six months since we’ve had sex,” I stated.

“A million” Phil simply said.

“What?” I questioned.

“I would wait a million years to be intimate with you, if that’s how long it took for you to get better then that’s how long I would wait because you are worth waiting for.” 

“Phil…” I looked at him with teary eyes, “you’re amazing you know that...thank you,” I reached over and gave him a hug. “I’ll call Debra in the morning.”

And fast forward three months of therapy sessions and one big breakthrough later, I was finally cleared and felt like I really dealt with my problems. So there I was, standing outside the store deciding whether or not I was actually going to go in or not. My attention was then pulled away when my phone buzzed. It was a message from Phil; I’m making your favorite meal to celebrate your last therapy session, so don't be too late. Love you.

He really is one of a kind, I thought to myself and at that moment, I walked into the store and bought what I wanted. Fifteen minutes later, I was unlocking the front door to our flat.

“Phil! I’m home” I called out but when no one answered, I started wandering around. “Phil where are you?” I kept looking around until I stumbled into the dining room and my eyes were drawn to the candles lit everywhere and roses spread all over the room.

“I know this may be a bit much, but I wanted tonight to be special,” he said as he emerged behind me. “You know to celebrate overcoming everything...I can take it all down if you want- I know it’s stupid,” Phil said starting to retreat.

“No.. don’t, it’s beautiful, it’s perfect thank you...you’re so sweet,” I said tearing up. 

“Wow, that’s a relief, I’m so glad you like it, dinner's almost ready so we have some time to kill before we can eat, what do you want to do?” he asked me.

“I want this,” I said as I handed him the bag in my hand.

“You went to the store? What for?” he asked.

“I went to go buy something I thought we would need for tonight,” I replied.

And once he opened the bag, he looked back up at me, “Dan...are you sure? Cause we don’t have to if you're not ready,” he stated.

“I love you and I love how patient and supportive you have been through all of this… I’m ready Phil,” I said as I grabbed his hand.

He moved our joined hands up to his mouth and placed a light kiss over my hand. After that, he held my hand as we walked towards our bedroom. I was a bit nervous I wasn’t going to lie but I knew that I was ready. 

We started with a bit of kissing; nice and slow and filled with so much passion. When he started taking off my jacket, a very small part of me wanted to retract but I knew, overall in my heart, Phil made me feel safe. I felt so overjoyed with emotion I felt like I couldn’t contain myself. 

When he started to lay me on the bed, Phil moved away from kissing me and looked into my eyes. He had this worried yet shock faced when he saw me. “Are you okay...you’re crying?” he asked wiping away the tear that escaped. 

“What?” I said bringing a hand up to my face only to find a wet line where the tear had fallen. “I’m fine really, I didn’t even know I was crying,” I honestly stated. “Please don’t think it’s because I’m scared, it’s actually the opposite, I’m so happy right now.” I gave him a small smile. “ I’m able to kiss you and have you hold me while in bed and I’m not freaking out or scared shit,” I said while holding onto his arm. 

“Whatever happens tonight, you set the pace, Dan. I won’t move any faster than with what you are comfortable with...okay,” Phil explained.

“I want to Phil-all the way.” I stared deeply into his eyes. “ I know I’m ready and I couldn’t have asked for a better night to do this, thank you for everything, I said ending the conversation by kissing him once again. 

And it was everything I could have ever wanted it to be. It was perfect and nice and slow and filled with so much love. Phil was so perfect and he was constantly making sure if I was okay or in any pain. During the whole time, he made me feel so safe and I wasn’t scared at all. He whispered sweet things into my ear like how beautiful and strong I was and how much he loved me. It was perfect.

We stayed cuddling in bed after we finished. Phil held on tight to me and casually lay kisses on the side of my head. “I love you,” I whispered out to him.

“I love you too Dan, and I promise that I will always protect you,” Phil replies back to me.

“I know you will,” I said looking up to him.

Phil then moved away from me and pulled up from the bed and rummaged around in a drawer next to the bed for a few seconds, before he came back to face me, hiding something behind his back. “I mean it, Dan, I love you and I promise I will keep you safe… and i-it would make me the happiest man alive if you gave me the honor of marrying me? ”

I stared in awe at both Phil and the ring. I looked back at Phil and saw a look of doubt in his face; almost as if he was scared I would say no. “Yes, yes Phil,” I said tearing up. And I gave him a passionate kiss.

This was a new chapter in our lives, sure we had a few obstacles along the way but we both overcame them. We had each other and we were happy, what more can a guy ask for.


End file.
